March 25, 2011

  • Me and my ED this week

    I hate this so much it's not even funny. Yesterday I almost fainted during a midterm for the first time in my life I couldn't breathe right and it sucked. I am trying to get better but it is so hard. I have eatten so much today I can't even believe it and yet as I'm typing this I am still shaking and my stomach is growling I feel faint and hate it so much. I thought my cutting was taking over my life but this is worse than the cutting has ever been. I can't stop thinking about my weight or food. I compare myself to everyone and can feel people staring at me. I want my life to be easier but it never has been and I wish it was. I wish I wasn't me anymore. I don't want to be here anymore if this is how my life is actually going to be and NO this is not SUICIDAL thinking it's just wishing I was someone else with a much better and happier life.